Have you ever had a window in time when everything was just.... right? Not in the having it all, having a million dollars or being drop dead gorgeous type of right. More like the planets had aligned and found myself among kindred spirits and we were all looking for the same thing. Fun.
I do. It's that time in your life when you have absolutely no responsibilities to anyone but yourself and nothing is stupid enough or crazy enough to do. With that freedom of responsibility comes the ability to throw caution to the wind and just be an absolute idiot and do whatever the hell you want.
For me, this period of my life took place at the turn of the century. It was the year 2000, we had just gotten over the millennium bug hysteria, the good ole Y2K. I was working at a stationery company. It was at this job that I met some of my closest and strongest friends. I may not see them all the time anymore, but I always carry a bit of them with me.
I spent the next two years at this job doing the following; laughing till I peed, prank calling customers, complaining about our boss, going out for drinks after work. It was awesome.
But really, the best times I had was getting high with my best gay friend in the world. He'd come over to my place after dinner and we'd just chill out and watch Funniest Home Videos and laugh our heads off at nothing in particular.
The one incident that lingers in my mind is the Maccas drive thru drive by.
Imagine this if you will. After a particularly grueling week at work, I retired to my house alone and errr.. lit up. Now kiddies, this is BAD BAD BAD. You should NEVER do this... without me being around to ummm supervise.
So there I was, totally relaxed and chilled and getting ready to fall asleep in front of a movie. And my phone ring. It's my sister. Did I forget that I had my nephew or niece's (can't remember which) reconciliation tonight? Er, yes. But no! Of course not. I was getting ready.
After launching myself into a very cold shower I got ready to go to, using a liberal amount of eye drops. And there began my nightmare.
I arrived at the local catholic church and thankfully, as it was an evening ceremony, the lights were dimmed. I was certain I looked fine and not at all twitchy an slightly paranoid. Because I arrived late I sat a row behind my parents and sister. I don't know. I get the impression that no one really twigged that I was a wee bit out of sorts.
So there I was, sitting in the house of God, completely freaking out. On the altar, on his crucifix, Jesus was judging me. I'm not sure if it was the silence, the dimmed lights, the young children, as yet untarnished by life, going in one by one to confess the most minor of digressions but I began to completely freak out.
By this stage, the munchies had well and truly set in. Between the paranoia and the desperation for a caramel sundae, I was a blubbering mess. It felt like hours although it could only have been a matter of thirty minutes, so I feigned a migraine and hightailed it out of the church and away from the unimpressed glare of God's son Jesus.
In the car, I tried to collect my thoughts and somehow, I found myself at the drive through of McDonalds. I can't recall what I ordered, but there were fries, a burger of some sort, I know there was a sundae and quite possibly an apple pie or two.
I paid for my food, then left. As in sans food. As in drove straight past the window where a young lass was waiting with a fake smile and my order. It wasn't till I was close to home that I found my hand searching for some fries and coming back wanting. Where were they?
DAMN IT!! In my hurry to get home and enjoy my munchies, I'd paid, but never claimed my goodies. Oh the shame.
To this day, i wonder what the staff on drive thru thought that night. Had they realised that I was high as a kite? Did they witness this type of madness on a weekly basis? I comfort myself by telling myself the staff had no idea I was not of sound mind. Sometimes I believe myself. Sometimes I don't.
Hopefully one day, when I'm sitting a nursing home somewhere, drinking my liquified lunch, I may have some flashbacks about being frowned at by JC. I may have lingering memories of living a wild and crazy life, if only for a very small period in time. And I may just remember that for a little while, I lived my life like there was no tomorrow.
Yes, I was stupid. Yes I broke the law. But at least I did it in style.
But seriously kiddies. Don't do drugs.
No comments:
Post a Comment