Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for experimenting with mind altering substances and things that make you 'check out' for a while. I spent a number of years smoking nothing but God's best with a friend (good times, we can talk about that later!) however in my quest to heal myself internally (and no I don't mean a colonic irrigation), I've opted to not take any happy pills and try something on a more spiritual level.
Which led me to my healer. Now, I'm going to confess that as a younger woman, I was really into psychic readings and tarot card reading and anything that would tell me my prince charming was just around the corner and we'd get married, live a charmed existence and be forever happy. Then of course, I grew up and realised that life is just not like that and I thought, fuck it, I better sort my shit out and bought my first house, moved out and started to enjoy life.
But I digress... The healer. She's lovely and very knowledgeable on chakras and spirit guides and healing and auras and light and essential oils and crystals. I on the other hand, know naught about any of that. Except for oils. I like to burn then cause they smell great. As for healing properties... I'm sorry, you lost me there.
So this is what I do. I drive to her absolutely gorgeous home and she's always so lovely and smiley. We retreat into her healing room which is bathed in a yellow glow. She's got some combination of oils. We discuss a range of things that have been bothering me or we discuss any concerns I may have.
I then lie on a bed, covered with a blanket and she gives me some crystals to hold. She then rubs oils into her hands and I inhale deeply. By this stage, I'm starting to unwind and relax and she goes to work. What she does, I have no idea. I don't open my eyes because any opportunity I get to lie there and not have say or do anything is so freaking awesome that I plan to make the most of every second.
In the back ground, there's plinky plonky music designed to either relax you or piss you off. Me??? The first time I went I found it very hard to let go of every inhibition I had. By the third session, I woke myself up with a snort. Yep, I'd drifted off to sleep.
Does it work? I'm not sure. After my first session, I was consumed by fury, an anger that surprised even me, Mrs Cranky Pants. I'm not sure if this was due to the fact that for the first time ever, I'd forced myself to face some things I'd buried so deep inside that 30+ years of repressed anger came spewing forth.
I've been told that it's a process and that things won't change immediately. Ok then. But I'm starting to look forward to being that that room with the golden glow, to smelling the oils and to breathing in the oil mixes. I very rarely get down time in daylight hours and to just lie there and let your mind drift, if only for 90 minutes is a blessing. Like I said, last time I was there, I snored.
Maybe healing the soul will be the better option. I've been reading about anti depressants and the entire changing your brain chemically freaks me out. I like who I am, even if I'm riddled with flaws and far from perfect. The road to loving myself may take some time, but with the oils, plinky plonky music and some time to just shut my mind off will be a massive help.
But if I start to talk about unicorns and world peace... Intervene. I beg of you.
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